Monthly Archives: August 2013

An Eventful Life

Oh man, month recap! Only there’s just one news-worthy item. Middle of July I got a rejection in 11 hours after submitting, which is record time so far. Behold!

Dear Author:

Thank you so much for sending the Superfantastic Literary Agency your query. We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter. On average, we receive nearly 500 email query letters a week and despite that, we do read each and every query letter carefully. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one “yes” to find the right match.
Good luck with all your publishing endeavors.
Wandering Soul
Terse Iconoclast
Rambunctious Felon
Well at least the form letter doesn’t tell you to drive nails into your skull. That’s a great plus.

This might sound like I’ll whine no matter what, but I actually would rather wait a bit longer to be rejected. It’s a small accomplishment whenever you send out a query—at least if you do it the “right” way and actually work on each one individually. Even if it yields no results in the end, you walk away from sending that email as if you actually got something done. Such a quick rejection letter craps all over that sense of accomplishment.

Let it simmer for a week, I say. A week is the perfect amount of time. By the time a week has gone by, I’m no longer getting off that sense of accomplishment and you can feel free to crap in my cereal all you want. Everybody wins!

On a similar note, I have mixed feelings on what’s better, whether getting that rejection letter or Eternal Silence. With the rejection letter you get certainty, you can move on, but it stings. The Eternal Silence leaves you wondering for a while, but it’s so much easier to deal with. When the deadline for getting a positive response comes and goes, the disappointment is tiny in comparison—like a dull ache that slowly, slowly fades away, so much so that you don’t even realize it when it’s gone.

Still I think I’d rather get that rejection letter, if only to see how many variations of “no thanks” can agents come up with. Besides, it builds character! You can never be too jaded on the internet.

There is potentially better news to share on this topic but it feels tacky to mention before it’s concluded. I’ll document it one way or another in the future when it’s all said and done. It might be the cause for much rejoicing but I’m keeping my expectations low. This paragraph is now complete.

I ate a lamp,