You feel something tapping at your big toe. You look down to see a bearded dragon wearing a tiny fireman’s hat, bopping your foot with the shaft of his axe. The lizard’s head is tilted to the side, one eye squarely on you.

“Hey,” the lizard says. “What do you want to know?”

Q. Where are the sequels to Eternal?

A. This question never gets old for me, because it means you enjoyed Eternal enough to want a sequel, so thank you for asking. There was supposed to be a trilogy, with the next two volumes named ‘Unbound’ and ‘Last Portent’. There’s zero work done on either, for three reasons:

1) I am constantly excited to start new, completely different stories. The more I write, the more I discover I am far more interested in building new settings from scratch with every novel, instead of staying in any one particular world.

2) Business-wise, it makes a lot more sense for me to write something new with every book until something sticks, instead of committing all of my writing time to sequels that are very unlikely to sell any better than the first volume.

3) I have some darn good ideas for the sequels, but I feel I wrote myself into a bit of a corner for spoilery reasons, and going forward fills me with lung-shattering dread.

I don’t want to rule out finishing the trilogy at some point, but I feel satisfied enough with Eternal’s ending, I don’t think it’s an incomplete book that NEEDS a sequel. If I hadn’t stated it is part of a trilogy in the book itself, it could easily stand on its own. Definitely won’t be doing that again!

Q. Are you doing any more Spelunky 101 videos?

A. I’ve milked that dromedary for all it is worth. I really don’t have any other topics to cover. The only one I’ve considered is more Advanced Tactics, because I’ve learned quite a few new tricks since then, but there just isn’t enough to make it into a proper video, I might have a whole 2 minutes of material to cover.

I will without a doubt make a bunch of Spelunky 202 videos when Spelunky 2 comes out.

Q. I want to give you money, where’s your Patreon?

A. I used to have a Patreon. Then they started doing some questionable stuff, it’s complicated and it involved our credit card overlords, but it culminated in the banning without warning and without him breaking any rules of Carl Benjamin / Sargon of Akkad—all because of his speech outside of their platform. This is a man whose worst crime was becoming an utter lolcow for everyone to laugh at. I already have Youtube as a whimsical landlord that could delete me from the internet at any point, I don’t need another one! So I closed it up.

If you’re intent on paying for Luna’s catfood, here’s a SubscribeStar, or you can find the Join button in any of my Youtube videos. Thanks for even considering it!

Q. What’s the best way to contact you?

A. By email: eipbarbuzano -squiggly- gmail -dot- com . I check it daily and respond pretty fast. I do get quite a few “check out my indie game” requests these days so don’t feel bad if I don’t respond to those, it gets super depressing to say “I really don’t think this game is for me, sorry” over and over.

You can also post on the youtube comments, I respond to those once a week.

Q. So you’re not on Twitter?

A. No.

I don’t think anyone should be on twitter.

Here is what I think about twitter.

Q. Can I add you on Steam?

A. Sure! I accept every single friend request because I’m nice that way, but I’m also a proper basement virgin full of social phobias. I’m always set to offline and never have conversations with anyone. And please don’t send me game gifts, I truly appreciate the thought but I already have more games I could possibly play in my lifetime!

This is a legitimate “Frequently Asked Questions” and I can’t remember anything else that gets asked all that often. SHOW’S OVER KID.